Will I always have the same attachment style? The best we can do as adults is make an effort to understand our own stories and use that information to grow as partners and friends. Remember, none of us have control over the way we were raised. Learning about attachment styles can be illuminating, it might even make you involuntarily mutter, “Aha!” under your breath. While you’re not necessarily bound to one attachment style for life (more on that later), our adult style typically mirrors the one we developed as a kid. You may have gotten your braces removed and grown out your bangs, but chances are you still have close to the same attachment style you did as a child. Our attachment style formed in those first 5 years actually has a lasting impact, including on our romantic partnerships. Later research expanded on Bowlby’s concepts. Remember, you can also have a combination of styles. And the insecure category has several subtypes. They’re divided into two camps: secure and insecure. But exactly how does our style form? More than half a century ago, psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth developed attachment theory: How our parents or guardians cared for us in our first 5 years played a pivotal role in our emotional development.Īnd from that, we developed an attachment style that informs how we behave in intimate relationships, including close friendships, romantic partnerships, and even with family.
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